S1-023 The Hole of Glory
The Hole of Glory is the twenty third episode of Season One of Queens of Adventure. In it, the queens traverse traps and tribes to make contact with the Glamazons. Synopsis As the morning sun warms Fire Island, thirteen days remain until the Kracken destroys the island. A team has been dispatched from the Golden Palace seeking an alliance with the Glamazons. A portion of the team including Booty and the Hofish and their Glamazon ally Ellen, have broken off to establish contact via the Hole of Glory and entered a cave along the path. Arson, in the lead, notices the cave is pockmarked with holes, and she can hear muffled giggling. Butylene uses thaumaturgy to boom "Who Goes There?" They can hear shushing and more scuttling of feet. Arson casts a dancing light inside one of the holes, and sees scales and eyes, that quickly hurry away. Fraya uses shape water to create a popsicle to put into one of the holes. As soon as she puts it in, something chomps on the icicle. Deciding that nothing is trying to kill them yet, they keep going. Eventually they find a muddy area with pairs of adventurer's boots up against the walls every few feet. Ellen theorizes that there used to be some little draconic creatures, that live in mountains and were driven out of the Glamazon side of the island some time ago. Potentially dangerous, but not a major threat. Fraya causes a rock to light up, and throws it down the tunnel, triggering ooohs. Arson decides to skitter up the walls on her spider lets, taking Butylene with her, who struggles to hold on. She slips, but manages to hang on to one of Arson's legs until they reach the other side. Fraya spends that time trying to recall how to cast find traps. She flips her hair to channel Cher, and realizes the mud is an extremely sticky floor. Fraya decides to step from boot to boot in order to cross the trap. Twice she slips, and gets a hand stuck in the mud. Butylene provides grease to help free her, after Fraya tries to ask the voices for spirit gum. Arson eventually comes back halfway on the ceiling and lowers a web net to pick Fraya up. Ellen crosses with no problem. Continuing, they reach a chamber with three tunnels. White powder covers the walls that Butylene checks out, realizing it's flour. A wheezing sound signals the arrival a thick cloud of flour obscure the room. A voice calls out that they have trespassed in the home of the Kobold King and must pay a fee. Fraya runs around to dry off and finds herself smacking into a dozen kobolds: Lizardlike creatures in ragged clothes, wearing strings of rocks, bones, and feathers wielding crude weapons. One near the center wears a helmet made from a skull a little too big. He holds a cone to his mouth and demands they give treasure, shiny and tasty, to him, King Nibbles. Fraya spit-shines a bronze coin, and picks up a couple rocks, and casts light on them all. King Nibbles, takes them as she explains the magic rocks will help manifest great things if you think good thoughts while holding them. He giggles with glee, and Fraya promises more shiny magic rocks, if they could be friends. They accept and offer to take them to the exit, leading them down various branches of the cave. Fraya proselytizes the great word of Cher as they go. As they exit the cave, Nibbles warns them about their cousins the wyverns. Butylene offers a pinch of flavor from her pouch of spices in exchange for knowledge about taming wyverns. She takes out a pinch of cinnamon and Arson uses prestidigitation to make it smell enticing. Nibbles says if they can subdue the matriarch, biggest wyvern with a shiny blue stripe down her back, without killing, the rest will respect them as equals. As a last thank you, Fraya casts light on King Nibble's skull helmet. The group departs. After climbing up the hill some more they come to the top of the ridge, streaked with colorful sand. A slab of stone, twenty feet tall, twenty feet wide, greets them. There is a hole in the wall about 8 feet up. Beyond is a rocky gorge. They can see an observatory in the far distance, and the rest of the island in the distance, including the city of Glamalala. The hole points towards the city. Fraya can see a rat scurrying off in the distance. They wonder if it is Pip the imp. Still covered in flour, Fraya dances across the clearing. Ellen lets her know she needs to put her face in the hole. Fraya jumps several times, shouting, until Butylene reminds her they have a half spider. Arson brushes past her and crawls up the wall. The hole seems to shimmer like it has surface tension. She sticks her head in. Breaking the surface, there is a tingle, and on the other side she sees a marble walled office with other holes on the walls. A glamazon in a smart suit is talking to a face on the other side. The fully visible woman turns to greet her once finished. Arson says she comes, per the treaty to request a mutual defense meeting to combat great evil. The Operator says she will send a delegation and asks if folks are at the Observatory. Arson confirms a group went there as well as her group at the Hole of Glory. The Operator offers to activate a passage between the two locations and bids Arson adieu. The others see a shimmering bridge, like a smaller panfrost, that heads over the Totes Gorge to the other part of the ridge. Arson emerges and join them in stepping onto the bridge. A mystical force yanks them across, dropping them off about an hour south of the Observatory, a white building with gleaming gold accents. They can view Glamalala even better from here. Two gliders lift off from the city and fly towards the Observatory. Looking west they can see the tourist half of the island: Golden Palace, Old Man Rufus's light sculptures, and the Temple of Boom. Occasionally there are spurts of lava and glama birds follow them north. The Observatory has an alabaster staircase leading to a wide plaza at the top of the ridge. A cylindrical domed building stands at the center with two Glamazon guards on either side of the door. To the side are Belfry, Throbardon, and Patrick. Belfry explains she will present, have their experts speak, then there will be a resource. She tells them to answer only questions they are asked. A large gold and obsidian glider, almost like a palanquin, approaches. Four white robed Glamazons bearing scroll cases pilot it. On the back is seated a figure wearing dark robes and a reflective mask. As the glider hovers over them, the figure rises, steps off, and lands on a walkway around the dome. He gazes down as the palanquin lands elsewhere. The figure addresses them. It is Rigo. He is there to discuss Mutual Defense with the HOGs best and brightest. He stutters addressing Ellen, asking her if she knows what it means if she speaks for the HOGs. She says she does. Rigo says they will meet at the bell and he enters the building. Belfry asks if they have any preparations to make. The group turns to Ellen to ask her what Rigo meant. She explains she is in major violation of the treaty as she shouldn't have interfered with the HOGs. But since the group needed their help she stayed. She knows she should have gone back for rebeautification, which she says is only brainwashing based on point of view. It includes a course list, community service, and solitary time for reflection, and she has been through it many times before. Not that her Dad, Rigo, gives her preferential treatment. The bell rings. The HOGs and guards head inside. Characters Party * Arson Nicki - drider warlock * Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist * Fraya Love - water genasi cleric NPCs * Ellen * King Nibbles and the Kobolds (debut) * Hole of Glory Operator (debut) * Belfry * Sir Throbardon * Patrick * Rigo and other Glamazons Episode Notes Lore * Glamazons who violate the treaty go through Rebeautification: Course work, community service, and solitary contemplation. Memorable Quotes * "Can I use shape water to..." - Fraya Love * "Maybe we should just keep going until something tries to kill us." - Arson Nicki * "Saved by fashion!" - Butylene O'Kipple * "It's a three. I mean who cares what it is, it's a low number." - Fraya Love * "I've had some experiences with white powders." - Butylene O'Kipple * "I'm tarred and feathered for Christ's Sakes! Can I just run around and catch it all?" - Fraya Love * "Come on Customer Service Voice." - Arson Nicki * "Made some new friends, kept the old." - "Cut out toxic energy." - Butylene O'Kipple and Arson Nicki * "Is it a power point?" - "That is the ''only ''way that I point. I point with great power." - Fraya Love and Belfry References * Versace * Astrolube * Smeargle * Dune - Spice Must Flow * Cinnamon Challenge * Wizard of Oz/The Wiz * Mario Kart - Rainbow Road * Power Point * Pointer Sisters * Spider-Man: With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility * Kindergarten Cop * RuPaul's Drag Race Untucked Name That Tune * "Unbreak My Heart" - Toni Braxton * "Ease on Down the Road" - The Wiz Behind the Queens * DM Matt would say in the QoAQnA bonus episode that he was particularly surprised by Fraya's solution to the sticky mud floor trap. The shoes were meant to be a clue, not a solution. Category:Episodes Category:Season One